Ram

Ram.. I just love that name.. there is something so beautiful about Ram.. its so sweet.. I was listening to one old song today which prompted this thought..

"sukh ke sab saathi dukh mein na koi
mere ram, mere ram,
tera naam hai saacha duja na koi'

there is so much knowledge in these lines.. the poet says.. "people are with you only during the time of comfort, when hardship falls on you there are none to be seen. My Ram, only your name is the truth, not anyone else's'

this is also what shankara says in Bhaja Govindam..

'paschat jivati jarjara dehe
vaarthaam koapi na prichhati gehe'

meaning. when death takes over and the body is left lying, there will be no one to ask for you. So take the Lord's name now..

Anyways, talking about Ram.. He is called the 'maryada purushottam' .. the respectful gentleman.. he is the ideal man, the ideal son, dad, husband, king, brother, absolute 10/10. He is picture perfect. Really isnt it awesome to look at Ram with his kodandam, Sita, Lakshmana and Hanuma ?.. its so glorious..

He is also the one credited to follow the strategic expedients of 'sama, dana, bheda and danda' 100%.. in any situation.. there is a tyagaraja kriti on this..
'sarasa sama dana bheda danda chatura'.. sometimes I feel Tyagaraja was created just to glorify Ram, wonder what else he could have done otherwise !

There is part in 'Nama Ramayanam'.. it goes like this..

'Tejomaya nija rupaka ram
samsriti bandha vimochaka ram
dharma sthapana tatpara ram
bhakti parayana muktidaram
sarva charachara palaka ram
sarva bhavamaya varaka ram
vaikunthalaya samstitha ram
nityananda padastitha ram'

its just so unbelievable just meditating on these lines.. one can see Ram sitting on his golden throne in his glorious assembly.. tejomaya nija rupakaram.. that line is so wonderful.. brilliance is his nature.. vaikunthalaya samstitha ram.. is also beautiful.. Gurudev says vaikuntha is the place where there is no hardship.. so whenever we are in a restful state we are in vaikuntha ! and we are resting in the Ram aspect !


Anyways. Ram and Tyagaraja. its like magic and david copperfield. :-) so here is a small story which led to the legendary pancharatna kritis..

Once Tyagaraja decided to see Ram.. nice idea no ? so he started praising. in a hope that Ram would come if praised :p ok, so he sang in Nattai Ragam the first song.

Jagadananda Karaka, Jaya Janaki prana nayaka..

he praises Ram like anything.. Ram you are that and this... the words he chooses in sanskrit show the amazing talent of Tyagaraja.. the song gushes like a cascade down the hills.. impossibe to stop. total high energy.

Now, the song ends, Ram doesnt come or Tyagaja doesnt see him yet. So now he is mighty disappointed. He thinks the fault is with himself and starts self introspection inching towards self blame.

second song in gowla goes..

Dudukugala nanne dora koduku brochura..

it means.. which prince (Ram) will come and rescue a sinner like me.

what ensues is a masterpiece of introspection. Tyagaraja glorifies the flaws, the setbacks of every devotee on the spiritual path.

the second charanam goes:

sakala bhUtamula andu nI vaiyuNDaga matilEka pOyina

I forgot the fact that you(Ram) are in every living being

4th one goes:

para dhanamula koraku nOrula madini karaga-baliki kaDupu nimpa diriginaTTi

For the sake of money and filling my stomach, I started praising others.

5th:

tanamadini bhuvini saukhyapu jIvanamE anucu sadA dinamulu gaDipE

assuming that enjoying worldly pleasures is the way to live, I spent all my days

the 9th and the 10th charanams are the icing on the cake:

mAnavatanu durlabha manucu nEnci paramAnanda mondaleka mada matsara
kAma lObha mOhamulaku dAsuDai mOsabOti gAka modaTi kulajuDagucu bhuvini
shUdula panulu salpucunu uNTinigAka nArAdamulu kOri sArahIna matamulanu sAdhimpa dArumAru


satulakai konnALLAstikai sutulakai konnALLu dhana tatulakai tirigiti nayya tyAgarAjApta ituvaNTi

I totally neglected the joy of this gift of a human birth, instead I became a slave of egoistic greedy and lustful activities and got cheated by them. Even after being educated I did the deeds of an ignorant. In an effort to please the stupid, I am totally lost.

I wasted a few yrs of my life in the pursuit of women, few yrs running after progeny, few yrs for property and money and my life is over now.

Now which prince will come to my rescue !

Tyagaraja just bursts ! But its so true atleast in my case, what a waste of my precious time thinking about insignificant things !


Still no sign of Ram !

Now he starts pulling the Lord's leg !.. and it works ! LOL ..

he sings in Arabhi Ragam..

sadhinchene O' manasa. Samayaniki tagu mataladene

Tyagaraja lists the nataks of krishna . how he is lier, cheater, thief and stuff.. the thing is it works !. and Ram appears towards the end of this song and assures Tyagaraja that he is very close to him and not to worry !

Now Tyagaraja is ecstatic and so is his musical expression. so the fourth song comes
in Varali Ragam

Kana kana ruchira, kanakavasana ninnu

he goes.. Ram, the more I look at you, the more beautiful you look (so I want to look at you even more !!! cute !)

and he goes on to praise the sweetness of Ram

and before he concludes his glorious darshan of the lord, Tyagaraja sings his last composition of this series in Sri Ragam

Endaro Mahanubhavulu, andariki vandanamulu

Now, is there anything as beautiful as endaro !.. its magnificient, he just glorifies all such divine souls who had a similar experience like the one he just had. Tyagaraja cracks it big time.. 100/100 for this..

just as an example to show the richness of his expression..

charanam 4:

hariguNa maNimaya - saramulu galamuna
shObhillu bhakthakOtu lilalO
telivitO jelimitO garuNa galgi
jagamellanu sudhA dhR.shticE brOcu vaa

It means: To all those devotees who have decorated their vocal chords with the bejewlled garlands studded with the gems called Hari's virtues and who are protecting this world with their wisdom, friendliness and compassion, I bow down to them. !!!!

This is just mind boggling !!!!!! Tyagaraja is out of this world to even think like that !!!

Ok, just one more charanam before I am lost :

BhAgavata ramayana gItadi shruti shastra purAnapu marmamulanu
shivadi shunmatamula gUdamulan
moppadimukkoti surAnta[an]tarangamula bhAvambula nerigi bhavarAga layAdi
sowkyamuce cirAyuvula galigi niravadi sokAtmulai
tyagarAjatmulainavAru endaro

It means: I bow down to all those, who are living in uninterrupted happiness caused by the luxury of understanding, feeling, singing and merging into the secrets of bhagavatam, ramayana, gita, shruti (vedam), shastras, puranas, the 6 faiths (shaiva, vaishnava, shakteya,soura,koumara and ganapatya), and of the 3.3 million devas.

wooop !

Just the expression of Tyagaraja gives an idea into the kind of devotion he was in.

Its all an expression. Life is an expression. Good, bad, happy or sad, its an expression of our being.

All glories to my Gurudev, the expression of bliss.

Dropping all Crutches !

Today as I sat for meditation, one beautiful thought came to me. I recollected one sentence which Gurudev says from Narada Bhakti sutras.. 'Drop all crutches' and this made my meditation so much more deeper.

Dropping all crutches and support.. its amazing how much meaning this sentence has. We take support from all kinds of things: family, friends, wealth, education our own personality and concepts, and all kinds of things.

we take so much pride in our families.. I am the son of so and so, my grandpa was an outstanding scholar or I am born in such a caste, such a status in society, I have such loving cousins.. or even the opposite, I am born poor and untouchable, or my mom/dad/brother/wife/kids never loved me.. relationships are one big crutch we hold on to.. I was in a relationship or I could never have a GF/BF.. I loved that person so intensely but he/she did that to me.. I did that for her.. he loved me so much, wonder what went wrong.. I shouldnt have done that. I should have done this .. now this person is showering so much love on me.. he/she is a special friend now and am having a great time like never before.. its the same thing ! it can be like or dislike, raga and dvesha, our mind identifies with that particular thing and its stuck. all these are like an empty bowl..

its so amazing how this identification comes.. like our own personality. i am intelligent.. I am not so intelligent all the time, but sometimes I am brilliant.. I went to that school, got this degree. he/she went to the other school, was the topper. I failed here, just passed there. so and so didnt even pass 10th class.. Degrees and distinctions are someone else's opinion of my capability.. what do they know what all am I capable of doing or not doing ?.. forget even that, what do I know what all am I capable of doing ?.. Its just fascinating to see how this mind gets identified.. I look good, she is gorgeous, he is so uncouth. blah blah..

as i sat for meditation.. i thought, enough of these identifications.. these concepts. these likes and dislikes.. let me drop all these.. let me just rest in my nature.. what great joy am i seeking here ? my master, i am here in front of u... with nothing to support me.. none of these are mine.. standing in front u totally vulnerable.. dropped the past doing and undoings and the future planning.. completely in your hands..

:-)

All glories to my Gurudev, the ever fresh.

Baagayanayya Nee Maayalento !!!

Heard this amazing composition by Tyagraja yesterday.. wonderfully aced by Unnikrishnan !.. the ragam chandrajyothi doesnt it sound like gaanamurthe ?

Tyagaraja says .. wah! Krishna!what wonderfully executed illusions ! can even Brahma measure up to it (can even brahma figure it out) ? .. all this gaaradi (natak) that you do !.. on that day, didnt you provoke arjuna to fight and slay his own family! and didnt you relieve him of that horrendous sin ?.. wah !..

the tone of the prayer is similar to sadhinchene, o manasa.. samayaniki tagu maataladina.. where Tyagaraja pulls the lord's leg for lying ! cheating and deception !.. LOL.. the pancharatna kritis are just masterpieces, will write about them another day. but Tyagaraja can never pick on Rama though, he only does it on Krishna !! cute !



baagayanayya nee
raagam: chandrajyOti


41 paavani janya
Aa: S R1 G1 M2 P D2 S
Av: S D2 P M2 G1 R1 S

taaLam: dEshaadi
Composer: Tyaagaraaja
Language: Telugu

pallavi

bAgAyanayya nI mAya lentO; brahmakaina koniyADa taramA (bAgAya)

anupallavi

I gAradamunu yonarincucunu nE gAdanucu balkuTayu (bAgAya)

caraNam

alanAdu kauravula naNaca mana yalari dOsamanu naruni jUci, pApa
phalamu nIku danaku lEdani cakkaga pAlanamu sEya lEdA? tyAgarAjanuta? (bAgAya)



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Meaning:
AyyA! Your little miraculous tricks are so amazing, no one, not even Brahma, can understand and describe and praise them adequately. After creating all the maaya (illusion), you then claim you had nothing to do with them!

Once upon a time, when you asked Arjuna, a human, to destroy the Kauravas, he agonized saying it would be a sin. You, NaaraayaNaa assured him that the effects of that destruction would not be a sin that would adversely affect him, and you gave him salvation.



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All Glories to my Gurudev, the light of this universe

Who am I ?

Who am I ?

Who am I to anyone ?

What do I mean to someone ?

What do I mean to myself ?

I mean nothing to anyone. I am a nobody. I will be gone without ever being noticed. Even the people who I think notice me will also be gone. I will be gone without a trace.

I mean nothing.

Who am I ?

I am a nobody.

Its so amazing and kinda stupid that this heart races towards a someone, when I am a nobody. Its so stupid. My heart is so funny. These are my friends, these are mine, this a special someone to me, these are my parents, these are family. Its so stupid.

Who am I to anyone ? Nothing.

I am nothing.

I mean nothing to anyone.

All this love I want to give all these people, does it have any value ? What is this love that I want to give ? All these thoughts, feelings and emotions. What is this?

This interesting thought occured to me..

Its been a week since I died. People stopped crying on the first day itself. LOL. Some thought of me for a couple of days, like immediate family and friends, and they also got back to their stuff. All rituals have been done. Its over. Ashes have been dissolved in a river. Its all been done. The garland of flowers around my photograph have withered since its been more than ten days now. Khatam. Finish. My senses have gone and my mind is about to go into a deep sleep. And I think to myself, what did all this mean ? All this running around, this feverishness, the anxiety and burden I carried. What was all this for ? All this trying to please, impress everyone. This wanting to achieve, to accumulate, to enjoy, to have pleasure. What does it mean ?

Its so funny. Everything I had struggled for, was all gone. It never came with me.

Two questions from basic course come to my mind.

1) What have you done to bring out the divine qualities in others ?
2) What have you done to bring satisfaction to yourself ?

In the end, its "what have you done while alive ?" rather than "How did you feel while out there?" . Its not a big deal how I feel, wht really matters is what did I do. What have I done for others? It might mean nothing, I might be a nobody. But I can contribute my two cents.

What have I done for others ? To how many people did I bring happiness to ? How useful was I to people around me? Did I make the life on this planet better?

Just thinking how my Gurudev works is amazing. How he is committed to his work. All he wants is me to be happy. So beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes, just realizing that he loves me so much. All he cares is if I am happy or not ! Such selfless, non-judgemental love. Oh Boy! tears did really come !

All glories to my Gurudev, the eternal Being.

Its like writing on water !

This is an interesting thought which occured to me.. to be more effective in telling the story, I would like to address the subject as 'I' and also because I would like this knowledge to be firmly established in me :-) I heard a talk by Gurudev on love from the Narada Bhakti Sutras where he spoke abt this. Since this is happening to me, I am able to relate to that knowledge very well.

Lately, I have become quite close to one of my friends, it started as an acquitance but soon developed into a nice friendship. we found a common ground to explore and talk about.. and I soon found out the depth of knowledge this person has in that area and it also brought out the best out of me. I could not discuss so passionately about the subject before as I did with this friend. The person gave me an avenue for me to express my own thoughts freely in this area. As days progressed this person only become more wonderful and my best pal.

I am sure this happened to most of us. We meet and talk to so many people.. and some dont even register in our minds, but some do. Something about them captures our attention and the conversations begin. It could be anything, from politics to sports to mythology to spirituality or even about boredom, it doesnt matter. Slowly, we talk about other interests this person has and it amazes us even more. The wealth of experiences and information this person is sharing with us, thrills and excites us so much, cause we never had/heard such things and we also reciprocate our experiences. Its getting better and better. We look forward to talking and meeting this person everyday and enjoy their company. This is exactly what happened with me.

Before I realized, I spoke to this person for extended periods of time and exchanged messages and emails and soon there was an immense amount of respect and love between us. All is so wonderful so far. We all have been there. Now because of some impressions/old-experiences deep down something tells us we are getting 'attached' to this person. Another fall out could be, other friends (who probably also started like the current charm) telling us we are not spending time with them as we used to, or not focussing on work at hand, or something else. Now there is lingering element a guilt element or even fear of losing freedom because we think we got attached.

Now the drama starts, we start acting funny, try to avoid talking or meeting. Not only are we getting worked up and being manipulative, but now the other person also starts feeling that something went wrong!. They come with their own understanding of our behavior. Before long, we find ourself fighting with our own attachment and at the same time trying to be close and natural with the friend. We get caught up in a storm created out of our minds. We do 101 things now with more rigor, meditations, sadhana, that and this, but we find ourselves at the same place.

Gurudev narrates a story here about Mulla Nasruddin. One beautiful evening, Mulla was looking into the sky and tells his friend who was sitting next to him, " I want to buy the moon". The friend sighs and says. " No way". Mulla replies " Why not? " and his friend says with serious tone " Cause I aint selling it to anyone!" LOL !

This is what we do when we try to get rid of 'attachments'. We are trying to sell the moon !. What are we attached to? What do we have that we are trying to get rid of ? "Oh I am getting attached, someone save me", Now Who is this "I" that is getting attached ? Who are you ? and How long will the attachment stay ? Till the next charming person walks through the door !!!

Just looking back into my own life, how many people came and how long was the attachment. It reveals some amazing secrets. And everytime I thought I had an attachment, how I struggled to get rid of it! and what is more funnier than that is thinking "I got rid of the attachment" or "I finally got over that person". This is so hilarious !. Its like saying " I had a tough time but I could finally sell the moon" .. LOL .. I am in splits. :-)

Events in life are writings on water. How long they stay? Before we realize we will be calling it quits from this body. The body and the attachments will be put to sleep, mother Earth will put its restless kid to rest. Lets reduce the work load to our mother by being at rest while alive !

Another interesting analogy was, we get 'attachments' via email. Most of them are spam ('unregistered people' in our minds). Some capture our attention and we browse thru them. Some are more special, we download and save them ( the ones who charm us). We open them often and after sometime that also reduces. New attachemnts ( new charms) come and we look at them and it goes on. To make space for the new ones, we might have to delete the old and not-often-visited ones (breakups, crushes, flings and the likes). All this is being supported by the OS (the mind). To keep the OS quick and sleek, we delete our recycle bins(kriya, satsangs, etc) and once a while we defragment (hollow and empty). At the end of the day, we power the computer down (sleep). After a few years, the computer becomes outdated, so we discard it and get a better one (death and after life). The electric power (vidyut, i remember shiva being praised as 'vidyutyaya cha' from rudram !) which is the energy behind all these computers is the unmanifest supreme consciouness and it shows itself as all these systems.

:-)

Haso aur Hasao, mat phaso mat phasao !

All glories to my Gurudev, the Lord of the universe.