Gravity and love

I personally feel that its not quite possible to have a unified field theory, but i could be wrong.. of the four fundamental forces of nature (Electromagnetic, strong nuclear force, weak nuclear force and gravitation).. the physicists could unify three of them except gravity .!.. now, gravity has been mind boggling scientists for a long time and it will continue to... no one knows how to explain it..

gravity is so puzzling that it can even bend light.. so who knows ? who knows what this creation is governed by (this assumes that its governed by some rules and someone should know it) ?.. this reminds me of a sloka from Rg Veda which used to feature on 'bharat ek khoj' on DD long time ago



Rg Veda: book 10: hymn 129

kima-siddh dono vyoma paroyat
kima-vareeyah? kuh? kasya sharmannamvah?
kima-siddh gahanam gabheeram...

Who really knows, and who can swear,
How creation came, when or where!
Even gods came after creation's day,
Who really knows, who can truly say
When and how did creation start?
Did He do it? Or did He not?
Only He, up there, knows, maybe;
Or perhaps, not even He.


so who knows ? this is the intersection of a question and a wonder.. wow ! who knows !.. such an awesome creation .!. who am i ! what is happening inside me and all around me ! wonder how these emtions come ! wonder who all these people are ! and that is bliss (u shud see ashtavakra gita tapes to appreciate this more)

anyways.. talking about gravity.. Gurudev says.. gravity of earth is the love of earth for us.. so probably gravity is love ! and love cant be understood or explained (anirvachayniyam prema svarupam , Narada Bhakti Sutras) .. that could be the missing link.. who knows !

:-)

will write more on a later day

All glories to my Gurudev, the emobodiment of all knowledge

Raindrops keep falling on my Head !

Raindrops keep falling on my head
and just like the guy who's feet are too big for his bed,
nothing seems to fit those,
raindrops are falling on my head, they keep falling

so I just did me some talking to the sun,
and I said I didn't like the way he got things done,
sleeping on the job those,
raindrops are falling on my head, they keep falling

But there's one thing, I know
the blues they sent to meet me won't defeat me.
It won't be long 'till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep falling on my head
but that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red.
Crying's not for me, cause
I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining
because I'm free, nothing's worrying me

rAma rAma ana rAda ?

I heard a wonderful composition today.. 20 seconds into the song, my eyes closed in prayer and I felt like dancing joyfully.. !. its called..'rAma rAma ana rAda' .. composed by prayAga rangadAsa .. who is Dr.BalaMurali's grandfather.. its in sindhubhairavi (same ragam as venkatachala nilayam)..

this is sung by one amazing amazing singer... Prince Rama Varma.. I am his big fan now.. he is just too good.. with absolute innocence and joy on his face and with so much devotion and playfulness he sang this one. ok here is the video.




I transliterated the lyrics here.

rAma rAma ana rAda raghupati rakshakudani vinalEdA ?
kAmajanakuni kadha vinu vAriki kaivalyambe kAdA ?

Why dont you chant ‘Rama Rama’? didnt you hear that the scion of Raghu is the savior?
Isn’t liberation assured to all those who listen to his story

Apath bAndhavudagu srIrAmuni aaradhichaga rAra !
pApambulu parihAramonarchedi paramAtmude kadA ?

Come and lets worship Sri Rama who is your true friend in times of distress,
Isn't he the one who clears off all wrong doings ?

sArahIna samsAra bhavAmbudhi saraguna dAtaga rAra !
nIrajAkshuni nirathagadavu vuni nityAnandame kAdA ?

Come forward to quickly cross this juice-less ocean of material existence
isn't it eternal joy to sing the glories of the lotus-eyed one ?

vasudhanu gudimellankanu velasina vara gOpAlude kAdA ?
pasivAdagu srI rangadAsuni pAlinchuta vinalEdA ?


I love when it goes sArahIna samsAra bhavAmbudhi .. its just so melodious !.. and isnt Rama Varma marvelous . ?

another rendition by Rama Varma I heard is 'srI rAma nAmam'.. its absolutely wonderful . its by bhadrachala ramadasu .. in sankarAbharanam ragam i think.



here is the transliteration

shrI rAma nAmamu maravumu maravumu siddhamu yamuniki veravamu veravamu

We wil not forget the name of the lord,
(by the strength of which), we are ready to face anything, including death.

gOvindunvELa golutumu golutumu dEvuni guNamula dalutumu dalutumu

We worhip Govinda again and again,
we sing his virtues over and oer

viSNu kathalu cevula vinudumu vinudumu vEre kathalu cevula mandamu mandamu

Our ears only listen to Vishnu's stories
others stories cant enter them !

rAmadAsulu mAku sAramu sAramu kAmadAsulu mAku dUramu dUramu

Servants of Rama are our essence
Servants of Kama, stay away !

avanijA pati sEva mAnamu mAnamu mari oka jOlaNTE maunamu maunamu

We will not stop serving the lord of this world
of any other job, we refuse to speak.

bhadra girIshuni kanudumu kanudumu bhadramutO manamundamu undamu

Lets have a darshan of the lord
and in his company is our true security

Its such an innocent prayer.. and Prince Rama Varma does such an amazing job.. his cheerful face and actions are a delight to watch !

All Glories to my Gurudev, my radiant Self

Ram

Ram.. I just love that name.. there is something so beautiful about Ram.. its so sweet.. I was listening to one old song today which prompted this thought..

"sukh ke sab saathi dukh mein na koi
mere ram, mere ram,
tera naam hai saacha duja na koi'

there is so much knowledge in these lines.. the poet says.. "people are with you only during the time of comfort, when hardship falls on you there are none to be seen. My Ram, only your name is the truth, not anyone else's'

this is also what shankara says in Bhaja Govindam..

'paschat jivati jarjara dehe
vaarthaam koapi na prichhati gehe'

meaning. when death takes over and the body is left lying, there will be no one to ask for you. So take the Lord's name now..

Anyways, talking about Ram.. He is called the 'maryada purushottam' .. the respectful gentleman.. he is the ideal man, the ideal son, dad, husband, king, brother, absolute 10/10. He is picture perfect. Really isnt it awesome to look at Ram with his kodandam, Sita, Lakshmana and Hanuma ?.. its so glorious..

He is also the one credited to follow the strategic expedients of 'sama, dana, bheda and danda' 100%.. in any situation.. there is a tyagaraja kriti on this..
'sarasa sama dana bheda danda chatura'.. sometimes I feel Tyagaraja was created just to glorify Ram, wonder what else he could have done otherwise !

There is part in 'Nama Ramayanam'.. it goes like this..

'Tejomaya nija rupaka ram
samsriti bandha vimochaka ram
dharma sthapana tatpara ram
bhakti parayana muktidaram
sarva charachara palaka ram
sarva bhavamaya varaka ram
vaikunthalaya samstitha ram
nityananda padastitha ram'

its just so unbelievable just meditating on these lines.. one can see Ram sitting on his golden throne in his glorious assembly.. tejomaya nija rupakaram.. that line is so wonderful.. brilliance is his nature.. vaikunthalaya samstitha ram.. is also beautiful.. Gurudev says vaikuntha is the place where there is no hardship.. so whenever we are in a restful state we are in vaikuntha ! and we are resting in the Ram aspect !


Anyways. Ram and Tyagaraja. its like magic and david copperfield. :-) so here is a small story which led to the legendary pancharatna kritis..

Once Tyagaraja decided to see Ram.. nice idea no ? so he started praising. in a hope that Ram would come if praised :p ok, so he sang in Nattai Ragam the first song.

Jagadananda Karaka, Jaya Janaki prana nayaka..

he praises Ram like anything.. Ram you are that and this... the words he chooses in sanskrit show the amazing talent of Tyagaraja.. the song gushes like a cascade down the hills.. impossibe to stop. total high energy.

Now, the song ends, Ram doesnt come or Tyagaja doesnt see him yet. So now he is mighty disappointed. He thinks the fault is with himself and starts self introspection inching towards self blame.

second song in gowla goes..

Dudukugala nanne dora koduku brochura..

it means.. which prince (Ram) will come and rescue a sinner like me.

what ensues is a masterpiece of introspection. Tyagaraja glorifies the flaws, the setbacks of every devotee on the spiritual path.

the second charanam goes:

sakala bhUtamula andu nI vaiyuNDaga matilEka pOyina

I forgot the fact that you(Ram) are in every living being

4th one goes:

para dhanamula koraku nOrula madini karaga-baliki kaDupu nimpa diriginaTTi

For the sake of money and filling my stomach, I started praising others.

5th:

tanamadini bhuvini saukhyapu jIvanamE anucu sadA dinamulu gaDipE

assuming that enjoying worldly pleasures is the way to live, I spent all my days

the 9th and the 10th charanams are the icing on the cake:

mAnavatanu durlabha manucu nEnci paramAnanda mondaleka mada matsara
kAma lObha mOhamulaku dAsuDai mOsabOti gAka modaTi kulajuDagucu bhuvini
shUdula panulu salpucunu uNTinigAka nArAdamulu kOri sArahIna matamulanu sAdhimpa dArumAru


satulakai konnALLAstikai sutulakai konnALLu dhana tatulakai tirigiti nayya tyAgarAjApta ituvaNTi

I totally neglected the joy of this gift of a human birth, instead I became a slave of egoistic greedy and lustful activities and got cheated by them. Even after being educated I did the deeds of an ignorant. In an effort to please the stupid, I am totally lost.

I wasted a few yrs of my life in the pursuit of women, few yrs running after progeny, few yrs for property and money and my life is over now.

Now which prince will come to my rescue !

Tyagaraja just bursts ! But its so true atleast in my case, what a waste of my precious time thinking about insignificant things !


Still no sign of Ram !

Now he starts pulling the Lord's leg !.. and it works ! LOL ..

he sings in Arabhi Ragam..

sadhinchene O' manasa. Samayaniki tagu mataladene

Tyagaraja lists the nataks of krishna . how he is lier, cheater, thief and stuff.. the thing is it works !. and Ram appears towards the end of this song and assures Tyagaraja that he is very close to him and not to worry !

Now Tyagaraja is ecstatic and so is his musical expression. so the fourth song comes
in Varali Ragam

Kana kana ruchira, kanakavasana ninnu

he goes.. Ram, the more I look at you, the more beautiful you look (so I want to look at you even more !!! cute !)

and he goes on to praise the sweetness of Ram

and before he concludes his glorious darshan of the lord, Tyagaraja sings his last composition of this series in Sri Ragam

Endaro Mahanubhavulu, andariki vandanamulu

Now, is there anything as beautiful as endaro !.. its magnificient, he just glorifies all such divine souls who had a similar experience like the one he just had. Tyagaraja cracks it big time.. 100/100 for this..

just as an example to show the richness of his expression..

charanam 4:

hariguNa maNimaya - saramulu galamuna
shObhillu bhakthakOtu lilalO
telivitO jelimitO garuNa galgi
jagamellanu sudhA dhR.shticE brOcu vaa

It means: To all those devotees who have decorated their vocal chords with the bejewlled garlands studded with the gems called Hari's virtues and who are protecting this world with their wisdom, friendliness and compassion, I bow down to them. !!!!

This is just mind boggling !!!!!! Tyagaraja is out of this world to even think like that !!!

Ok, just one more charanam before I am lost :

BhAgavata ramayana gItadi shruti shastra purAnapu marmamulanu
shivadi shunmatamula gUdamulan
moppadimukkoti surAnta[an]tarangamula bhAvambula nerigi bhavarAga layAdi
sowkyamuce cirAyuvula galigi niravadi sokAtmulai
tyagarAjatmulainavAru endaro

It means: I bow down to all those, who are living in uninterrupted happiness caused by the luxury of understanding, feeling, singing and merging into the secrets of bhagavatam, ramayana, gita, shruti (vedam), shastras, puranas, the 6 faiths (shaiva, vaishnava, shakteya,soura,koumara and ganapatya), and of the 3.3 million devas.

wooop !

Just the expression of Tyagaraja gives an idea into the kind of devotion he was in.

Its all an expression. Life is an expression. Good, bad, happy or sad, its an expression of our being.

All glories to my Gurudev, the expression of bliss.

Dropping all Crutches !

Today as I sat for meditation, one beautiful thought came to me. I recollected one sentence which Gurudev says from Narada Bhakti sutras.. 'Drop all crutches' and this made my meditation so much more deeper.

Dropping all crutches and support.. its amazing how much meaning this sentence has. We take support from all kinds of things: family, friends, wealth, education our own personality and concepts, and all kinds of things.

we take so much pride in our families.. I am the son of so and so, my grandpa was an outstanding scholar or I am born in such a caste, such a status in society, I have such loving cousins.. or even the opposite, I am born poor and untouchable, or my mom/dad/brother/wife/kids never loved me.. relationships are one big crutch we hold on to.. I was in a relationship or I could never have a GF/BF.. I loved that person so intensely but he/she did that to me.. I did that for her.. he loved me so much, wonder what went wrong.. I shouldnt have done that. I should have done this .. now this person is showering so much love on me.. he/she is a special friend now and am having a great time like never before.. its the same thing ! it can be like or dislike, raga and dvesha, our mind identifies with that particular thing and its stuck. all these are like an empty bowl..

its so amazing how this identification comes.. like our own personality. i am intelligent.. I am not so intelligent all the time, but sometimes I am brilliant.. I went to that school, got this degree. he/she went to the other school, was the topper. I failed here, just passed there. so and so didnt even pass 10th class.. Degrees and distinctions are someone else's opinion of my capability.. what do they know what all am I capable of doing or not doing ?.. forget even that, what do I know what all am I capable of doing ?.. Its just fascinating to see how this mind gets identified.. I look good, she is gorgeous, he is so uncouth. blah blah..

as i sat for meditation.. i thought, enough of these identifications.. these concepts. these likes and dislikes.. let me drop all these.. let me just rest in my nature.. what great joy am i seeking here ? my master, i am here in front of u... with nothing to support me.. none of these are mine.. standing in front u totally vulnerable.. dropped the past doing and undoings and the future planning.. completely in your hands..

:-)

All glories to my Gurudev, the ever fresh.

Baagayanayya Nee Maayalento !!!

Heard this amazing composition by Tyagraja yesterday.. wonderfully aced by Unnikrishnan !.. the ragam chandrajyothi doesnt it sound like gaanamurthe ?

Tyagaraja says .. wah! Krishna!what wonderfully executed illusions ! can even Brahma measure up to it (can even brahma figure it out) ? .. all this gaaradi (natak) that you do !.. on that day, didnt you provoke arjuna to fight and slay his own family! and didnt you relieve him of that horrendous sin ?.. wah !..

the tone of the prayer is similar to sadhinchene, o manasa.. samayaniki tagu maataladina.. where Tyagaraja pulls the lord's leg for lying ! cheating and deception !.. LOL.. the pancharatna kritis are just masterpieces, will write about them another day. but Tyagaraja can never pick on Rama though, he only does it on Krishna !! cute !



baagayanayya nee
raagam: chandrajyOti


41 paavani janya
Aa: S R1 G1 M2 P D2 S
Av: S D2 P M2 G1 R1 S

taaLam: dEshaadi
Composer: Tyaagaraaja
Language: Telugu

pallavi

bAgAyanayya nI mAya lentO; brahmakaina koniyADa taramA (bAgAya)

anupallavi

I gAradamunu yonarincucunu nE gAdanucu balkuTayu (bAgAya)

caraNam

alanAdu kauravula naNaca mana yalari dOsamanu naruni jUci, pApa
phalamu nIku danaku lEdani cakkaga pAlanamu sEya lEdA? tyAgarAjanuta? (bAgAya)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meaning:
AyyA! Your little miraculous tricks are so amazing, no one, not even Brahma, can understand and describe and praise them adequately. After creating all the maaya (illusion), you then claim you had nothing to do with them!

Once upon a time, when you asked Arjuna, a human, to destroy the Kauravas, he agonized saying it would be a sin. You, NaaraayaNaa assured him that the effects of that destruction would not be a sin that would adversely affect him, and you gave him salvation.



%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

All Glories to my Gurudev, the light of this universe

Who am I ?

Who am I ?

Who am I to anyone ?

What do I mean to someone ?

What do I mean to myself ?

I mean nothing to anyone. I am a nobody. I will be gone without ever being noticed. Even the people who I think notice me will also be gone. I will be gone without a trace.

I mean nothing.

Who am I ?

I am a nobody.

Its so amazing and kinda stupid that this heart races towards a someone, when I am a nobody. Its so stupid. My heart is so funny. These are my friends, these are mine, this a special someone to me, these are my parents, these are family. Its so stupid.

Who am I to anyone ? Nothing.

I am nothing.

I mean nothing to anyone.

All this love I want to give all these people, does it have any value ? What is this love that I want to give ? All these thoughts, feelings and emotions. What is this?

This interesting thought occured to me..

Its been a week since I died. People stopped crying on the first day itself. LOL. Some thought of me for a couple of days, like immediate family and friends, and they also got back to their stuff. All rituals have been done. Its over. Ashes have been dissolved in a river. Its all been done. The garland of flowers around my photograph have withered since its been more than ten days now. Khatam. Finish. My senses have gone and my mind is about to go into a deep sleep. And I think to myself, what did all this mean ? All this running around, this feverishness, the anxiety and burden I carried. What was all this for ? All this trying to please, impress everyone. This wanting to achieve, to accumulate, to enjoy, to have pleasure. What does it mean ?

Its so funny. Everything I had struggled for, was all gone. It never came with me.

Two questions from basic course come to my mind.

1) What have you done to bring out the divine qualities in others ?
2) What have you done to bring satisfaction to yourself ?

In the end, its "what have you done while alive ?" rather than "How did you feel while out there?" . Its not a big deal how I feel, wht really matters is what did I do. What have I done for others? It might mean nothing, I might be a nobody. But I can contribute my two cents.

What have I done for others ? To how many people did I bring happiness to ? How useful was I to people around me? Did I make the life on this planet better?

Just thinking how my Gurudev works is amazing. How he is committed to his work. All he wants is me to be happy. So beautiful. It brings tears to my eyes, just realizing that he loves me so much. All he cares is if I am happy or not ! Such selfless, non-judgemental love. Oh Boy! tears did really come !

All glories to my Gurudev, the eternal Being.

Its like writing on water !

This is an interesting thought which occured to me.. to be more effective in telling the story, I would like to address the subject as 'I' and also because I would like this knowledge to be firmly established in me :-) I heard a talk by Gurudev on love from the Narada Bhakti Sutras where he spoke abt this. Since this is happening to me, I am able to relate to that knowledge very well.

Lately, I have become quite close to one of my friends, it started as an acquitance but soon developed into a nice friendship. we found a common ground to explore and talk about.. and I soon found out the depth of knowledge this person has in that area and it also brought out the best out of me. I could not discuss so passionately about the subject before as I did with this friend. The person gave me an avenue for me to express my own thoughts freely in this area. As days progressed this person only become more wonderful and my best pal.

I am sure this happened to most of us. We meet and talk to so many people.. and some dont even register in our minds, but some do. Something about them captures our attention and the conversations begin. It could be anything, from politics to sports to mythology to spirituality or even about boredom, it doesnt matter. Slowly, we talk about other interests this person has and it amazes us even more. The wealth of experiences and information this person is sharing with us, thrills and excites us so much, cause we never had/heard such things and we also reciprocate our experiences. Its getting better and better. We look forward to talking and meeting this person everyday and enjoy their company. This is exactly what happened with me.

Before I realized, I spoke to this person for extended periods of time and exchanged messages and emails and soon there was an immense amount of respect and love between us. All is so wonderful so far. We all have been there. Now because of some impressions/old-experiences deep down something tells us we are getting 'attached' to this person. Another fall out could be, other friends (who probably also started like the current charm) telling us we are not spending time with them as we used to, or not focussing on work at hand, or something else. Now there is lingering element a guilt element or even fear of losing freedom because we think we got attached.

Now the drama starts, we start acting funny, try to avoid talking or meeting. Not only are we getting worked up and being manipulative, but now the other person also starts feeling that something went wrong!. They come with their own understanding of our behavior. Before long, we find ourself fighting with our own attachment and at the same time trying to be close and natural with the friend. We get caught up in a storm created out of our minds. We do 101 things now with more rigor, meditations, sadhana, that and this, but we find ourselves at the same place.

Gurudev narrates a story here about Mulla Nasruddin. One beautiful evening, Mulla was looking into the sky and tells his friend who was sitting next to him, " I want to buy the moon". The friend sighs and says. " No way". Mulla replies " Why not? " and his friend says with serious tone " Cause I aint selling it to anyone!" LOL !

This is what we do when we try to get rid of 'attachments'. We are trying to sell the moon !. What are we attached to? What do we have that we are trying to get rid of ? "Oh I am getting attached, someone save me", Now Who is this "I" that is getting attached ? Who are you ? and How long will the attachment stay ? Till the next charming person walks through the door !!!

Just looking back into my own life, how many people came and how long was the attachment. It reveals some amazing secrets. And everytime I thought I had an attachment, how I struggled to get rid of it! and what is more funnier than that is thinking "I got rid of the attachment" or "I finally got over that person". This is so hilarious !. Its like saying " I had a tough time but I could finally sell the moon" .. LOL .. I am in splits. :-)

Events in life are writings on water. How long they stay? Before we realize we will be calling it quits from this body. The body and the attachments will be put to sleep, mother Earth will put its restless kid to rest. Lets reduce the work load to our mother by being at rest while alive !

Another interesting analogy was, we get 'attachments' via email. Most of them are spam ('unregistered people' in our minds). Some capture our attention and we browse thru them. Some are more special, we download and save them ( the ones who charm us). We open them often and after sometime that also reduces. New attachemnts ( new charms) come and we look at them and it goes on. To make space for the new ones, we might have to delete the old and not-often-visited ones (breakups, crushes, flings and the likes). All this is being supported by the OS (the mind). To keep the OS quick and sleek, we delete our recycle bins(kriya, satsangs, etc) and once a while we defragment (hollow and empty). At the end of the day, we power the computer down (sleep). After a few years, the computer becomes outdated, so we discard it and get a better one (death and after life). The electric power (vidyut, i remember shiva being praised as 'vidyutyaya cha' from rudram !) which is the energy behind all these computers is the unmanifest supreme consciouness and it shows itself as all these systems.

:-)

Haso aur Hasao, mat phaso mat phasao !

All glories to my Gurudev, the Lord of the universe.

The wanting to be One !

I saw this Sufi dance recently.. Its called Darwesh or Darwish.. and I am so moved by it.. oh boy, what a thing it is... the sufi goes round and round and round around himself.. saying .. its you, its you, its you, its all you.. tu hi tu hi tu hi..

You are the one my lord.. you are the one..

There is beautiful Sufi song that goes with.. its called Allah Hu.. (nothing but Allah)

It goes like this.

Malik-Ul-Mulk, Lashareeka Lahoo
Ruler of the world, soul of my blood

Wahadahoo Laa Ilaahaa Illaahoo
The promised one, there is nothing but you


and its just wanting to be one with the creator.. what a beautiful thing.. the wanting be one..

talking with you isnt enough.. hugging you isnt enough.. any amount of physical contact isnt enough.. I want to enter inside every particle of you.. I want to be you.. I want to be one with you.. drop all boundaries of body and mind..

its just so beautiful. the wanting to be one..

From the poems of Rumi.. to the songs of bulleh shah.. to the sutras of Narada..

Its all about being one with the One... its the same essence.. dropping everything else and being one..

Narada puts it as.. "Anyaashrayaanaam Tyago Ananyata" .. drop everything else, there is no one but you.. I dont have anyother support but you.. I dont have anything but you.. totally vulnerable in the hands of the divine, the master..

Tyagaraja sings for Lord Rama. "Mari vere dikkevarayya Rama ?".. Who is there for me other than you my Rama ?

Syama Shastri says in a kirtana on Kamakshi..
"Devi Brova Samayamide, ati vegame vacchi naa vetalu teerchi karunimpave Shankari Kamakshi"
"Loka janani naa pai daya ledaa ? nee daasudu kaada ?"
"Shri Kanchi Viharini, Kalyani !"

It means.. Kamakshi! Shankari ! my mother, now is the time ! come soon ! come as soon as possible, come and save me and shower your grace !

The second line is even more beautiful, he says.. You are the mother of this world, dont you have compassion towards me ? aint I your servant ? Come, the ruler of Kanchi !

Gurudev in his commentary on Narada Bhakti Sutras says a beautiful line... He says.. "I have never seen your face, but I've fallen deeply in love with you, I have never heard your voice, but I am in love with you. I have never touched you, but whenever I think about it, my hair stands up" ..

Its beyond words.. when the Sufi goes swirling around himself.. there is nothing.. the words stop.. the chatter in the mind stops... in that whirling movements, the sufi finds the silent, immovable corner, which is his self.. the witness to all this dynamics... the stillness around which all the world revolves..

Its really beautiful and sometimes funny as well, when I think that God created the universe and he also created longing, the wanting to be one.. so now the creation which was created by the creator longs to be back with the creator ! its so wonderful !

This reminds me a very popular day to day scene.. sun's rays coming into a room through a crack or opening in a window. Because of the contrast there, we see dust particles moving randomly in that band of sunlight. I seriously think its love. its love of the earth for the sun.. the earth longs to be with the sun so much that it doesnt know what to do ! so it creates dust and creates wind and throws the dust up into sky towards the sun.. !! isnt it cute? Now the sun wants to play with earth and have fun. so what sun does is evaporates the oceans and with the help of wind and other friends, showers it back on earth.. it does abhishekam to earth !!! and its constantly going on.. all the time.. what an ancient playful love.. !

This is beautiful.. silent.. joyful.. unattached .. pure love :-)

All glories to my Gurudev, my most precious.

Where is the misery in life ?

Jeevan mein phir kya baadha hai ..
sang jo mere tu radha hai..

nirdhan ka tu dhan hai ho radha
prem ke is anmol ratan ko kaun tula mein toley..


wow!!.. what a wonderful thing!, I thought.. and I stopped whatever I was doing and took a moment to sink into the devotion of Vikram Bhaiya's voice..

Jeevan mein phir kya badha hai.. sang jo mere tu radha hai..
where is the misery in life when you are with me, my Radha..

seriously what a beautiful feeling... this is how it must have been, the poems written by Krishna to Radha.. my fingers are unable to move as my mind has become still and i am staring at the screen, my breath is slow, smooth and steady.

Love is such an inexplicable feeling.. I dont know what else to say.. I am transported to a very beautiful and silent space..

what a thing this love is.. I just dont know.. Jeevan mein phir kya badha hai.. where is the misery in life, when you are with me my Radha..

Radha is also the longing.. when there is longing for the lord, where is the misery? the world seems petty.. the problems are insignificant...

such a person is rich.. rich with love, happiness, joy and playfulness.. we usually equate richness with wealth, but the richness which love brings is the true richness..

rich is that person who can give without asking for anything in return.
rich is that person who can love without expecting to be loved in return
rich is the one who can praise without wanting to be praised..

one who cannot give love is truly poor.. misery is when we loose ourselves in the world, unaware of the love we have.. what is there in life without love.. what are we looking forward to if there is no longing, no love.. its so dry.. tasteless. stale.. its not life. its something else.

I once saw a video of Gurudev which I can never forget.. in that he says. "There is no misery in this world, if you find any then bring it to me". and then a beautiful thing happens... its too personal.

My Glorious Gurudev.. my most precious..
my beloved.. my master
you are the reason for me being here
what else is worth to do other than your worship
what else to praise other your virtues.
what else is worth doing other than your service.

Jeevan mein phir kya badha hai.. sang jo mere tu radha hai..
where is the misery in this world, when you are with me my beloved.

Jai Gurudev

I am Tired

I am so tired,
tired of this world,
tired of these words,
tired of this life.

I am so tired
tired of this mind,
tired of this body,
tired of this breath.

I am so tired,
tired of this memory,
tired of this intellect,
tired of this ego.

I am so tired,
tired of the people,
tired of the impressions,
tired of the expressions.

I am so tired,
tired of money,
tired of status,
tired of beauty.

I am so tired,
tired of these roads
tired of these cars
tired of this travel.

I am so tired,
tired of this separation
tired of this union
tired of this waiting.

I am so tired,
tired of this chasing
tired of this gazing
tired of this thinking

I am so tired,
tired of this eating
tired of digesting
tired of this shitting

I am so tired,
tired of being good
tired of being bad
tired of this formality

I am so tired
tired of this show off
tired of this hypocricy
tired of this mood.

I am so tired,
tired of this race,
tired of the charm
tired of this garbage.

I am so tired,
tired of this anger
tired of this peace
tired of this hatred.

I am so tired.
tired of writing this
tired of thinking what to write next
tired of being tired.

I want to rest
just rest.

I want to go away,
far away from this noise
and be with myself.

I want to be with myself
and just disappear.

I just want to vanish
vanish from this misery
vanish from this place
vanish from this drama

I want to go away
vanish from this love
vanish from these tears
vanish from this pain

I want to go away
far away from time
far away from this moment
far away from the past and the future

I dont want anything
really I dont want anything
I just want to go away
to be with myself
just leave me alone.

The Floral Affirmation

"Pick me! Pick me!" called out the lilies,
as I walked past them in the garden,
Tulips, Jasmines, Roses and Chrysanthemums,
“Did I hear them say something to me?”
Came the thought as I turned towards them.

I felt they are crying out to me again,
“Oh pretty ones, what can I do for you?”
I thought, as I reached out my hand towards them.
“Will you pick me and take me along”, they said in unison
Milky white, orange, red, yellow and pink,

“Take us to the one we have been waiting for,
We have been sending him messages,
via the butterflies and the bees, with our honey and our fruits,
Take us to the one we want to adore,
To serve the one who serves us all”

“We start every day with dew drops in his longing,
And command the breeze to carry our fragrance,
We dance in the wind in the celebration of his presence,
And we fall to the earth only to be born yet again,
We have been waiting for so long, won’t you take us to him?”

Even dreams cannot be so beautiful, I thought
This entire garden is filled with him, it’s all him.
Gently I plucked the gleeful flowers, now in full bloom,
Overwhelmed with joy as I offered them at his feet,
To serve the one who serves us all

Art of Living Canada Ashram

Holy tradition of the Gurus

vandeham sachidanandam bhedatitam Jagadgurum
nityam purnam nirakaram nirgunam
Svatmasarva Smasthitham

I bow down to the universal master,
who is absolute truth- pure consciousness and bliss,
who is beyond all differences ,
who is ever full , without attributed formless,
who is all pervading and ever centered in the self

What a Glorious Life !

Today is just wow.. what a life am I having.. such an intense feeling .. It feels I have been waiting to meet myself for a long time.. I feel longing for my own self.. Its as if I have never met myself.. What is this . Who am I..

My body.. My breath.. my mind.. my memory.. my intellect.. my ego and my self.. Its just unbelievable. These are my seven friends from time immemorial.. constant companions.. I am so rich.. I am so glorious .. I feel so much abundance.. I feel very vast.. its as if I have dived very deep into some kind of a singularity in this universe.. I am trying to explain something very intimate, something so very close.. as close are the waves are to the ocean.. Its just very beautiful, exquisite..

Beauty, beauty, beauty.. words are doing such a poor job here.. its as if a mute person is trying to appreciate a delicious dish he just tasted... just beauty..

I am longing for my own self and this is so beautiful..

Just beautiful.

Me and the Yellow Rice.

I started running from the parking lot, didnt look at the traffic lights or stop signs. I was gasping for breath. Meera had called 3 mins ago said, 'Guruji is here, where u ? park the car somewhere and come'. Literally, I parked the car I dont know where, found a spot, parked it and just ran for my life. Just one thought, He is here and I want to see his face. He is here, thats it. I entered the hotel lobby and none from the crowd was in there. I found one desi guy and asked, 'where did they go', 'They all just left', I asked 'which floor', '5th'. I dashed to the elevator and went to the 5th floor, or it seemed like it. Looked left and right , there was no one. I ran all over that floor, there was no one. I tried to reach meera but it didnt go thru. I got back in the elevator and tried to go to someother floor and started looking. Finally she calls me back and says they are in the 5th, by that time i was back in the elevator and this time I went to the true 5th floor and there was the crowd outside his room. Finally ! I thought.

'Guruji is having dinner' Aditya told me. 'Where is the box ?', I looked at Meera. 'He took it from me' she said apologetically,'Wow, really?, No, thats good, its for Him only'. I was glad that He took the Pulihora I made for him, not too glad because I was parking the car when all this happened, but glad nevertheless. There were 15 people waiting outside His room, all of us trying ways to get in. I took the proclamation which we got from the mayor of college station in my hand, so that I can show it Guruji. Suddenly couple of people came there and the door opened for them to go in. I lined along with them and got thru ! Someone tried to stop me as I was getting in, i said, ' I have a document which I want to show Guruji' pointing at the declaration I was holding.

When I entered, there were two more doors, one to my right was the kitchen and the one to the left was the place where He was staying. I tried to get into his room. Gita ji said no, he is having dinner. I said, 'well I just want to see him', 'No'. But people have been going in and out of the room. I got really infuriated, I tried to go in again, she said ' Guruji is not seeing anyone', 'He may not be seeing anyone but I want to see him just once', then Krishna ji came and held my hand and pulled me out, 'Krishna ji dont hold my hand', I said. I was mad at all these people. ' I drove 500 miles and now I cant even see him from this far' I told Bill Herman who just came out. Fine I thought, let me wait here and try to see him when the door opens while people keep moving in and out. Bill ji was trying to tell me something. I dont know what happened then, I hugged him and said i belong to you. I dont know what made me say that. Then Bill ji said' let me give you a blessing'. he placed his hands on my head and gave one !

By this time a lady came out of His room with some plates. 'Did he eat the yellow colored rice ?' I asked, ' She said 'Yes' gleefully, ' He loved it, Thanks for bringing it in we didnt have any rice' and she went into the kitchen. Mikey came out of the room, he was looking well fed. He gave a big smile and asked ' How are you'. I asked 'Did He eat the yellow rice? ', 'Oh, the rice with the nuts in it ?', 'Ya, I made it, 'He loved it, He had three servings and I had four', Mikey said. I was all glad, finally. I had woken up morning at 5.30. Showered and then did my kriya and then cooked for Him. I spent the previous evening cleaning the stove and the kitchen floor, bought new utensils and all that. I cooked Pulihora (Puliyodarai in Tamil) with so much love and attention, while listening to Rudram in the background. ' Guruji, this is all my love for you and you alone. Please have it', I prayed so many times while I made it. I didnt taste it and packed all of it in a box and took it along. We drove for 7 hours and reached the hotel where He was staying. I gave the box to Meera while I went to park the minivan. Guruji came in during this time and he went straight to Meera, He looked at the box and asked 'What is it', 'Food, Guruji', 'What food?', 'Puliyodarai', Meera replied hesitantly as she was waiting for me to come and give the box to Gurudev, 'Oh, give it to me'. He just snatched it from her hand and left !!!

'Nagumomu Ganaleni naa jaali telisi', I was singing to myself while I waited and waited outside His room. Just to catch a glimpse of his face. I felt like bursting into tears for a few moments. Some teachers and the people who came out where talking to me, I dont what they were saying, my mind was elsewhere, my heart just waiting to see Him. So after a few more mins, the door opened again, and I peeped in, there He was, standing a few feet away, was speaking on the phone in Tamil. After a few more moments, He looks to me and nods His head acknowledging me. Total Bliss ! Waves of Happiness lashed out at me!

'Guruji, did you like the Pulihora?', I asked Him sitting at his feet in His room. After dinner, He called all the people who were waiting outside. ' Ya, I liked it, that was my lunch,dinner, everything. Thats all I ate today, Puliyodarai'. He smiled and paused,' Who made it ?' He asked, ' Guruji, I made it' came the prompt reply. He patted my shoulder with His left hand, 'good, good' He said and smiled. Heaven !

How nice it was and how beautiful. Precious moments, If there is anything worth, it is the time spent with Him.

Folks, this is just story #1. Lots happened that day and the following day at the hotel and also at the airport. Simply great moments.

If we observe, this is what it is, simple episodes involving a couple of conversations with Him. No magic wands, no great revelations of truth or anything. Just a few lines spoken with love and care. Just being in His presence. This is the juice of life.

The flow of time..

Yatah Sarvaani Bhuutani Pratibhaanti stithaani cha
Yatrai vo pasamam yaanti tasmai satyaatmane namah

Salutations to that reality in which all the elements, and all the animate and inanimate beings shine as if they have an independent existence, and in which they exist for a time and into which they merge.

This is the prayer sloka from the Yoga Vasistha.. so wonderfully written..

Its said that nothing can withstand the flow of time.. Time washes away everything. pleasant memories.. unpleasant events. it just sweeps clean..

Sweeps off people. trees.. countries. civilizations.. planets and creations.. and its constantly doing it.. and in it everything lives for a period of time and merge back..

its such a big mystery. wow.. !!!!

and time is so rich.. in it lies everything. every person who was ever born and who are going to come.. in it lies all the experiences, events.. its so full .. and its so abundant.. there is plentitude in time.. coz everything belongs to it..

shiva is called the time... in Rudram it comes ..one of the names of shiva is kaal.. the time is shiva.. we are in shiva now.. as he dances the planets move, the flowers bloom, the leaves fall and the hearts beat.. everything that moves in this universe is the dance of shiva.. the dance of time.. so graceful and dynamic..

I dont know .. its a big thing.. the depths of time are unfathomable.. the flow of time is really so unbeleivable..

Jai GuruDev !

Shabdon ke Jungle Mein...

Shabdon ke jungle mein...
Tu kyon phasa hai....
Parbrahm ke ras seee....
tera nus nus rama hai..

Anand tu hi...
Parmanand tu hi...

Om mein kho kar...
Om mein rum kar...
Ommmm mein milna haiii....

Shabdo ke jungle mein ..
Tu kyon phasa hai....

Maan Apmaan hota hi kahan hai...
Yeh to hai shabdo ki pakad...

Bhale bure shabd tujhe hila de...
Itna tu nahi hai kamjor..

Om mein kho kar...
Om mein rum kar...
Ommm mein milna haiinnn....

Turn towards a Meaning

I returned from TTC-1 last week (Dec26,06 - Jan7,07 at TX Ashram). We were a group of 56 ppl. Taught by Mikey.

So many processes and so many things during the ttc. It was very intense.. and very rigorous.. and so much gratitude and love and awareness was nourished.

More I know about Guruji, more he becomes dearer and more he becomes mysterious.

Guruji says. Govinda = one who has become mysterious.. ppl when in love become mysterious, they act funny and wierd.. and Govinda is one who has become that. nice na.

Something has shifted in me after ttc1.. its as if, there is a strong sense of purpose in life.. I have a priority in life, which is unshakeable. A strong sense of belongingness and security and confidence. Its as if, the things I have been holding on to so long have become so trivial and completely overshadowed by this feeling.

Sometimes I feel how much my Guruji has given me.. its really unbelievable.. so much love and how well he takes care.

One thing that keeps ringing in my mind.. Satguru is alive and is here .. That energy is physically manifest in a human body.. He is here and walking amongst us.. Truly blessed is this moment and we all are.

More later.

Shankara's Visit to Texas !

Date: May 17, 2006 12:48 PM


"Guruji, I love you and you are my AdiShankara.".. soft and little tremble in my voice as I looked straight into HIS eyes and uttered these words... and there came the smile, the most famous and precious smile which stole the hearts and minds of millions of people all around the globe. It was my golden moment, my time of enlightenment, me with my Shiva, and that was it.. No amount of good Karma can get you a Guru, GuruDev once said.. its just HIS love and grace that brought me that moment.. Then GuruDev lifted his hand and patted my shoulder and blessed me... Blessed me like the divine touch of Bhagwan Sri Ram, which turned a stone into a beautiful angel..

"Guruji.. tum mile, dil khiley aur jeene ko kya chahiye" (Guruji, I found you and my heart blossomed, Is there anything more valuable than this in life ?) .. that was what went on in my mind, as 200 other devotees lined up to have the darshan of Guruji at the Uvalde Activity center on a beautiful sunny saturday in Texas.. and what a darshan it was !.. Guruji spoke to each and everyone... we all could not have wished for more. there was abundance.. so rich was the time.. so satisfying the experience.. my two eyes were not enough to behold the glory of his compassionate love.. the senses cried out their limitations in capturing the picture of my master.. if there's a heaven, we were in it.

"Marugela raa.. O Raghavaa".. the melody from the vichitra veena was so enchanting that the chirping birds took a recess and were lost in the sound along with us on this very peaceful evening..There was GuruDev, seated underneath a tree.. some of us were sitting on the grass and some on chairs... It was sunset time.. the animals and other living beings caught up in everyday activities were returning home to rest.. it was time to relax and just be joyful.. This was how it should have been when Dakshinamurthy taught the wise men in silence.. or when Ashtavakra spoke of wisdom to Janaka.. or during the discourses of Yagnavalkya in the times of Naimisharanyam.. It was satsang time and the party was on.

"Gayatrananta charitam tava naradopi".. (Your infinite glories are sung by Narada and other rishis) ..surrounded by all angels and rishis we sang the glories of the Lord in the Lord's presence.. the first satsang on the occassion of the opening of the first ashram in the United States.. amidst a wealth of devotion in the ocean of gratitude.. we all merged.. We celebrated HIS 50 years (though HE has no beginning and no end) as HH Sri Sri Ravi Shankar..

"Imam prapya bhajasva maam".. I am blessed to be singing HIS name and for being part of this celebration.

with love and respect,