The wanting to be One !

I saw this Sufi dance recently.. Its called Darwesh or Darwish.. and I am so moved by it.. oh boy, what a thing it is... the sufi goes round and round and round around himself.. saying .. its you, its you, its you, its all you.. tu hi tu hi tu hi..

You are the one my lord.. you are the one..

There is beautiful Sufi song that goes with.. its called Allah Hu.. (nothing but Allah)

It goes like this.

Malik-Ul-Mulk, Lashareeka Lahoo
Ruler of the world, soul of my blood

Wahadahoo Laa Ilaahaa Illaahoo
The promised one, there is nothing but you


and its just wanting to be one with the creator.. what a beautiful thing.. the wanting be one..

talking with you isnt enough.. hugging you isnt enough.. any amount of physical contact isnt enough.. I want to enter inside every particle of you.. I want to be you.. I want to be one with you.. drop all boundaries of body and mind..

its just so beautiful. the wanting to be one..

From the poems of Rumi.. to the songs of bulleh shah.. to the sutras of Narada..

Its all about being one with the One... its the same essence.. dropping everything else and being one..

Narada puts it as.. "Anyaashrayaanaam Tyago Ananyata" .. drop everything else, there is no one but you.. I dont have anyother support but you.. I dont have anything but you.. totally vulnerable in the hands of the divine, the master..

Tyagaraja sings for Lord Rama. "Mari vere dikkevarayya Rama ?".. Who is there for me other than you my Rama ?

Syama Shastri says in a kirtana on Kamakshi..
"Devi Brova Samayamide, ati vegame vacchi naa vetalu teerchi karunimpave Shankari Kamakshi"
"Loka janani naa pai daya ledaa ? nee daasudu kaada ?"
"Shri Kanchi Viharini, Kalyani !"

It means.. Kamakshi! Shankari ! my mother, now is the time ! come soon ! come as soon as possible, come and save me and shower your grace !

The second line is even more beautiful, he says.. You are the mother of this world, dont you have compassion towards me ? aint I your servant ? Come, the ruler of Kanchi !

Gurudev in his commentary on Narada Bhakti Sutras says a beautiful line... He says.. "I have never seen your face, but I've fallen deeply in love with you, I have never heard your voice, but I am in love with you. I have never touched you, but whenever I think about it, my hair stands up" ..

Its beyond words.. when the Sufi goes swirling around himself.. there is nothing.. the words stop.. the chatter in the mind stops... in that whirling movements, the sufi finds the silent, immovable corner, which is his self.. the witness to all this dynamics... the stillness around which all the world revolves..

Its really beautiful and sometimes funny as well, when I think that God created the universe and he also created longing, the wanting to be one.. so now the creation which was created by the creator longs to be back with the creator ! its so wonderful !

This reminds me a very popular day to day scene.. sun's rays coming into a room through a crack or opening in a window. Because of the contrast there, we see dust particles moving randomly in that band of sunlight. I seriously think its love. its love of the earth for the sun.. the earth longs to be with the sun so much that it doesnt know what to do ! so it creates dust and creates wind and throws the dust up into sky towards the sun.. !! isnt it cute? Now the sun wants to play with earth and have fun. so what sun does is evaporates the oceans and with the help of wind and other friends, showers it back on earth.. it does abhishekam to earth !!! and its constantly going on.. all the time.. what an ancient playful love.. !

This is beautiful.. silent.. joyful.. unattached .. pure love :-)

All glories to my Gurudev, my most precious.

Where is the misery in life ?

Jeevan mein phir kya baadha hai ..
sang jo mere tu radha hai..

nirdhan ka tu dhan hai ho radha
prem ke is anmol ratan ko kaun tula mein toley..


wow!!.. what a wonderful thing!, I thought.. and I stopped whatever I was doing and took a moment to sink into the devotion of Vikram Bhaiya's voice..

Jeevan mein phir kya badha hai.. sang jo mere tu radha hai..
where is the misery in life when you are with me, my Radha..

seriously what a beautiful feeling... this is how it must have been, the poems written by Krishna to Radha.. my fingers are unable to move as my mind has become still and i am staring at the screen, my breath is slow, smooth and steady.

Love is such an inexplicable feeling.. I dont know what else to say.. I am transported to a very beautiful and silent space..

what a thing this love is.. I just dont know.. Jeevan mein phir kya badha hai.. where is the misery in life, when you are with me my Radha..

Radha is also the longing.. when there is longing for the lord, where is the misery? the world seems petty.. the problems are insignificant...

such a person is rich.. rich with love, happiness, joy and playfulness.. we usually equate richness with wealth, but the richness which love brings is the true richness..

rich is that person who can give without asking for anything in return.
rich is that person who can love without expecting to be loved in return
rich is the one who can praise without wanting to be praised..

one who cannot give love is truly poor.. misery is when we loose ourselves in the world, unaware of the love we have.. what is there in life without love.. what are we looking forward to if there is no longing, no love.. its so dry.. tasteless. stale.. its not life. its something else.

I once saw a video of Gurudev which I can never forget.. in that he says. "There is no misery in this world, if you find any then bring it to me". and then a beautiful thing happens... its too personal.

My Glorious Gurudev.. my most precious..
my beloved.. my master
you are the reason for me being here
what else is worth to do other than your worship
what else to praise other your virtues.
what else is worth doing other than your service.

Jeevan mein phir kya badha hai.. sang jo mere tu radha hai..
where is the misery in this world, when you are with me my beloved.

Jai Gurudev

I am Tired

I am so tired,
tired of this world,
tired of these words,
tired of this life.

I am so tired
tired of this mind,
tired of this body,
tired of this breath.

I am so tired,
tired of this memory,
tired of this intellect,
tired of this ego.

I am so tired,
tired of the people,
tired of the impressions,
tired of the expressions.

I am so tired,
tired of money,
tired of status,
tired of beauty.

I am so tired,
tired of these roads
tired of these cars
tired of this travel.

I am so tired,
tired of this separation
tired of this union
tired of this waiting.

I am so tired,
tired of this chasing
tired of this gazing
tired of this thinking

I am so tired,
tired of this eating
tired of digesting
tired of this shitting

I am so tired,
tired of being good
tired of being bad
tired of this formality

I am so tired
tired of this show off
tired of this hypocricy
tired of this mood.

I am so tired,
tired of this race,
tired of the charm
tired of this garbage.

I am so tired,
tired of this anger
tired of this peace
tired of this hatred.

I am so tired.
tired of writing this
tired of thinking what to write next
tired of being tired.

I want to rest
just rest.

I want to go away,
far away from this noise
and be with myself.

I want to be with myself
and just disappear.

I just want to vanish
vanish from this misery
vanish from this place
vanish from this drama

I want to go away
vanish from this love
vanish from these tears
vanish from this pain

I want to go away
far away from time
far away from this moment
far away from the past and the future

I dont want anything
really I dont want anything
I just want to go away
to be with myself
just leave me alone.

The Floral Affirmation

"Pick me! Pick me!" called out the lilies,
as I walked past them in the garden,
Tulips, Jasmines, Roses and Chrysanthemums,
“Did I hear them say something to me?”
Came the thought as I turned towards them.

I felt they are crying out to me again,
“Oh pretty ones, what can I do for you?”
I thought, as I reached out my hand towards them.
“Will you pick me and take me along”, they said in unison
Milky white, orange, red, yellow and pink,

“Take us to the one we have been waiting for,
We have been sending him messages,
via the butterflies and the bees, with our honey and our fruits,
Take us to the one we want to adore,
To serve the one who serves us all”

“We start every day with dew drops in his longing,
And command the breeze to carry our fragrance,
We dance in the wind in the celebration of his presence,
And we fall to the earth only to be born yet again,
We have been waiting for so long, won’t you take us to him?”

Even dreams cannot be so beautiful, I thought
This entire garden is filled with him, it’s all him.
Gently I plucked the gleeful flowers, now in full bloom,
Overwhelmed with joy as I offered them at his feet,
To serve the one who serves us all

Art of Living Canada Ashram

Holy tradition of the Gurus

vandeham sachidanandam bhedatitam Jagadgurum
nityam purnam nirakaram nirgunam
Svatmasarva Smasthitham

I bow down to the universal master,
who is absolute truth- pure consciousness and bliss,
who is beyond all differences ,
who is ever full , without attributed formless,
who is all pervading and ever centered in the self

What a Glorious Life !

Today is just wow.. what a life am I having.. such an intense feeling .. It feels I have been waiting to meet myself for a long time.. I feel longing for my own self.. Its as if I have never met myself.. What is this . Who am I..

My body.. My breath.. my mind.. my memory.. my intellect.. my ego and my self.. Its just unbelievable. These are my seven friends from time immemorial.. constant companions.. I am so rich.. I am so glorious .. I feel so much abundance.. I feel very vast.. its as if I have dived very deep into some kind of a singularity in this universe.. I am trying to explain something very intimate, something so very close.. as close are the waves are to the ocean.. Its just very beautiful, exquisite..

Beauty, beauty, beauty.. words are doing such a poor job here.. its as if a mute person is trying to appreciate a delicious dish he just tasted... just beauty..

I am longing for my own self and this is so beautiful..

Just beautiful.

Me and the Yellow Rice.

I started running from the parking lot, didnt look at the traffic lights or stop signs. I was gasping for breath. Meera had called 3 mins ago said, 'Guruji is here, where u ? park the car somewhere and come'. Literally, I parked the car I dont know where, found a spot, parked it and just ran for my life. Just one thought, He is here and I want to see his face. He is here, thats it. I entered the hotel lobby and none from the crowd was in there. I found one desi guy and asked, 'where did they go', 'They all just left', I asked 'which floor', '5th'. I dashed to the elevator and went to the 5th floor, or it seemed like it. Looked left and right , there was no one. I ran all over that floor, there was no one. I tried to reach meera but it didnt go thru. I got back in the elevator and tried to go to someother floor and started looking. Finally she calls me back and says they are in the 5th, by that time i was back in the elevator and this time I went to the true 5th floor and there was the crowd outside his room. Finally ! I thought.

'Guruji is having dinner' Aditya told me. 'Where is the box ?', I looked at Meera. 'He took it from me' she said apologetically,'Wow, really?, No, thats good, its for Him only'. I was glad that He took the Pulihora I made for him, not too glad because I was parking the car when all this happened, but glad nevertheless. There were 15 people waiting outside His room, all of us trying ways to get in. I took the proclamation which we got from the mayor of college station in my hand, so that I can show it Guruji. Suddenly couple of people came there and the door opened for them to go in. I lined along with them and got thru ! Someone tried to stop me as I was getting in, i said, ' I have a document which I want to show Guruji' pointing at the declaration I was holding.

When I entered, there were two more doors, one to my right was the kitchen and the one to the left was the place where He was staying. I tried to get into his room. Gita ji said no, he is having dinner. I said, 'well I just want to see him', 'No'. But people have been going in and out of the room. I got really infuriated, I tried to go in again, she said ' Guruji is not seeing anyone', 'He may not be seeing anyone but I want to see him just once', then Krishna ji came and held my hand and pulled me out, 'Krishna ji dont hold my hand', I said. I was mad at all these people. ' I drove 500 miles and now I cant even see him from this far' I told Bill Herman who just came out. Fine I thought, let me wait here and try to see him when the door opens while people keep moving in and out. Bill ji was trying to tell me something. I dont know what happened then, I hugged him and said i belong to you. I dont know what made me say that. Then Bill ji said' let me give you a blessing'. he placed his hands on my head and gave one !

By this time a lady came out of His room with some plates. 'Did he eat the yellow colored rice ?' I asked, ' She said 'Yes' gleefully, ' He loved it, Thanks for bringing it in we didnt have any rice' and she went into the kitchen. Mikey came out of the room, he was looking well fed. He gave a big smile and asked ' How are you'. I asked 'Did He eat the yellow rice? ', 'Oh, the rice with the nuts in it ?', 'Ya, I made it, 'He loved it, He had three servings and I had four', Mikey said. I was all glad, finally. I had woken up morning at 5.30. Showered and then did my kriya and then cooked for Him. I spent the previous evening cleaning the stove and the kitchen floor, bought new utensils and all that. I cooked Pulihora (Puliyodarai in Tamil) with so much love and attention, while listening to Rudram in the background. ' Guruji, this is all my love for you and you alone. Please have it', I prayed so many times while I made it. I didnt taste it and packed all of it in a box and took it along. We drove for 7 hours and reached the hotel where He was staying. I gave the box to Meera while I went to park the minivan. Guruji came in during this time and he went straight to Meera, He looked at the box and asked 'What is it', 'Food, Guruji', 'What food?', 'Puliyodarai', Meera replied hesitantly as she was waiting for me to come and give the box to Gurudev, 'Oh, give it to me'. He just snatched it from her hand and left !!!

'Nagumomu Ganaleni naa jaali telisi', I was singing to myself while I waited and waited outside His room. Just to catch a glimpse of his face. I felt like bursting into tears for a few moments. Some teachers and the people who came out where talking to me, I dont what they were saying, my mind was elsewhere, my heart just waiting to see Him. So after a few more mins, the door opened again, and I peeped in, there He was, standing a few feet away, was speaking on the phone in Tamil. After a few more moments, He looks to me and nods His head acknowledging me. Total Bliss ! Waves of Happiness lashed out at me!

'Guruji, did you like the Pulihora?', I asked Him sitting at his feet in His room. After dinner, He called all the people who were waiting outside. ' Ya, I liked it, that was my lunch,dinner, everything. Thats all I ate today, Puliyodarai'. He smiled and paused,' Who made it ?' He asked, ' Guruji, I made it' came the prompt reply. He patted my shoulder with His left hand, 'good, good' He said and smiled. Heaven !

How nice it was and how beautiful. Precious moments, If there is anything worth, it is the time spent with Him.

Folks, this is just story #1. Lots happened that day and the following day at the hotel and also at the airport. Simply great moments.

If we observe, this is what it is, simple episodes involving a couple of conversations with Him. No magic wands, no great revelations of truth or anything. Just a few lines spoken with love and care. Just being in His presence. This is the juice of life.

The flow of time..

Yatah Sarvaani Bhuutani Pratibhaanti stithaani cha
Yatrai vo pasamam yaanti tasmai satyaatmane namah

Salutations to that reality in which all the elements, and all the animate and inanimate beings shine as if they have an independent existence, and in which they exist for a time and into which they merge.

This is the prayer sloka from the Yoga Vasistha.. so wonderfully written..

Its said that nothing can withstand the flow of time.. Time washes away everything. pleasant memories.. unpleasant events. it just sweeps clean..

Sweeps off people. trees.. countries. civilizations.. planets and creations.. and its constantly doing it.. and in it everything lives for a period of time and merge back..

its such a big mystery. wow.. !!!!

and time is so rich.. in it lies everything. every person who was ever born and who are going to come.. in it lies all the experiences, events.. its so full .. and its so abundant.. there is plentitude in time.. coz everything belongs to it..

shiva is called the time... in Rudram it comes ..one of the names of shiva is kaal.. the time is shiva.. we are in shiva now.. as he dances the planets move, the flowers bloom, the leaves fall and the hearts beat.. everything that moves in this universe is the dance of shiva.. the dance of time.. so graceful and dynamic..

I dont know .. its a big thing.. the depths of time are unfathomable.. the flow of time is really so unbeleivable..

Jai GuruDev !

Shabdon ke Jungle Mein...

Shabdon ke jungle mein...
Tu kyon phasa hai....
Parbrahm ke ras seee....
tera nus nus rama hai..

Anand tu hi...
Parmanand tu hi...

Om mein kho kar...
Om mein rum kar...
Ommmm mein milna haiii....

Shabdo ke jungle mein ..
Tu kyon phasa hai....

Maan Apmaan hota hi kahan hai...
Yeh to hai shabdo ki pakad...

Bhale bure shabd tujhe hila de...
Itna tu nahi hai kamjor..

Om mein kho kar...
Om mein rum kar...
Ommm mein milna haiinnn....

Turn towards a Meaning

I returned from TTC-1 last week (Dec26,06 - Jan7,07 at TX Ashram). We were a group of 56 ppl. Taught by Mikey.

So many processes and so many things during the ttc. It was very intense.. and very rigorous.. and so much gratitude and love and awareness was nourished.

More I know about Guruji, more he becomes dearer and more he becomes mysterious.

Guruji says. Govinda = one who has become mysterious.. ppl when in love become mysterious, they act funny and wierd.. and Govinda is one who has become that. nice na.

Something has shifted in me after ttc1.. its as if, there is a strong sense of purpose in life.. I have a priority in life, which is unshakeable. A strong sense of belongingness and security and confidence. Its as if, the things I have been holding on to so long have become so trivial and completely overshadowed by this feeling.

Sometimes I feel how much my Guruji has given me.. its really unbelievable.. so much love and how well he takes care.

One thing that keeps ringing in my mind.. Satguru is alive and is here .. That energy is physically manifest in a human body.. He is here and walking amongst us.. Truly blessed is this moment and we all are.

More later.

Shankara's Visit to Texas !

Date: May 17, 2006 12:48 PM


"Guruji, I love you and you are my AdiShankara.".. soft and little tremble in my voice as I looked straight into HIS eyes and uttered these words... and there came the smile, the most famous and precious smile which stole the hearts and minds of millions of people all around the globe. It was my golden moment, my time of enlightenment, me with my Shiva, and that was it.. No amount of good Karma can get you a Guru, GuruDev once said.. its just HIS love and grace that brought me that moment.. Then GuruDev lifted his hand and patted my shoulder and blessed me... Blessed me like the divine touch of Bhagwan Sri Ram, which turned a stone into a beautiful angel..

"Guruji.. tum mile, dil khiley aur jeene ko kya chahiye" (Guruji, I found you and my heart blossomed, Is there anything more valuable than this in life ?) .. that was what went on in my mind, as 200 other devotees lined up to have the darshan of Guruji at the Uvalde Activity center on a beautiful sunny saturday in Texas.. and what a darshan it was !.. Guruji spoke to each and everyone... we all could not have wished for more. there was abundance.. so rich was the time.. so satisfying the experience.. my two eyes were not enough to behold the glory of his compassionate love.. the senses cried out their limitations in capturing the picture of my master.. if there's a heaven, we were in it.

"Marugela raa.. O Raghavaa".. the melody from the vichitra veena was so enchanting that the chirping birds took a recess and were lost in the sound along with us on this very peaceful evening..There was GuruDev, seated underneath a tree.. some of us were sitting on the grass and some on chairs... It was sunset time.. the animals and other living beings caught up in everyday activities were returning home to rest.. it was time to relax and just be joyful.. This was how it should have been when Dakshinamurthy taught the wise men in silence.. or when Ashtavakra spoke of wisdom to Janaka.. or during the discourses of Yagnavalkya in the times of Naimisharanyam.. It was satsang time and the party was on.

"Gayatrananta charitam tava naradopi".. (Your infinite glories are sung by Narada and other rishis) ..surrounded by all angels and rishis we sang the glories of the Lord in the Lord's presence.. the first satsang on the occassion of the opening of the first ashram in the United States.. amidst a wealth of devotion in the ocean of gratitude.. we all merged.. We celebrated HIS 50 years (though HE has no beginning and no end) as HH Sri Sri Ravi Shankar..

"Imam prapya bhajasva maam".. I am blessed to be singing HIS name and for being part of this celebration.

with love and respect,

Merry XMas from Sri Sri Ravi Shankar (High Res)

From the North Pole straight to your heart. Music by Trans Siberian Orchestra

Shankaraya Mangalam !

Shankaraya Shankaraya Shankaraya Mangalam..
Shankari Manoharaya Shaaswataya Mangalam..

Gurudeva Mangalam Sadgurudeva Mangalam..
Gajananaya Mangalam Shadananaya Mangalam

Shankaraya Shankaraya Shankaraya Mangalam..
Shankari Manoharaya Shaaswataya Mangalam..

Rajarama Mangalam Sri Venu Krishna Mangalam
Sitarama Mangalam Sri Radhe Shyama Mangalam

Shankaraya Shankaraya Shankaraya Mangalam..
Shankari Manoharaya Shaaswataya Mangalam..

Anandam Mangalam Paramanandam Mangalam
Sadananda Mangalam Chidananda Mangalam.

Shankaraya Shankaraya Shankaraya Mangalam..
Shankari Manoharaya Shaaswataya Mangalam..


blessed are those who long for the divine.

blessed are those who have tears of gratitude for him..

Real treasure is the treasure of longing..

the longing which consumes every thought, every feeling and every breath.

blessed are those who see only him.. dream of only him.. think of only him.. speak of only him..

blessed are those who merge with him.. have nothing to do but to do his work..

blessed are those who feel his presence all the time.. and even the time becomes him.. there is no past, present or future.. its all him..

blessed are those whose known and unknown universes are pervaded by him..

blessed are those whose faces glow with the divine love.. with that ecstasy.. with that unparalleled love for him... who sing and dance in the intoxication of his love.

blessed is this planet.. this moment.. blessed are you and me.

Jai Gurudev !

Maine Socha Na Tha..

with lots of love and gratitude for my beloved Guruji His Holiness Sri Sri RaviShankar. Jai GuruDev.

Wonder..

What is all this.. ?

the world. the people.. the problems.. the events.. the triumphs.. the tribulations.

where did all this come from..

what is the meaning of anything.. what is going on..

What does anything mean anyway ?

Does it even matter what I am thinking right now ?

Its so huge.. and vast .. the entire entity is so unfathomable.. the dynamics are crazy.. its all so quickly changing..

the 6 billion people on the planet will be dead in the next 100 yrs .

which means that.. 60 million ppl die annually on an average.

which equals to 5 million a month .. and 166,000 people die every day !!..

and an equal or more are born..

and uncountable plants, animals, birds, fishes are born. and they die too.



just looking at this dynamic activity creates an awe at the force of this existence..
how much power or energy gets transformed..

the creation is busy all the time.. its a tireless worker.

its a wonder !..

where does it want to go with all this ?

where is the creation heading to ?

how long does it want to keep doing what its doing.. ?


its crazy.. that was just the physical world..

in the mental , subtle space . the creation is also crazy

so many thoughts come and go.. in so many minds.. its just unbelievable..



the subtle space is like the mirror image of the realm of the thoughts..
because both are infinite, one cannot really say which is more deep !

well.. i dont know what a maze we all are living in..

i really dont know !..

the point is one cannot really find out how deep this thing is..
but one can really live a peaceful life by realizing how huge the infinite creation is..

by looking at the big pic.. the small complaints and nonsense disappear into nothing..


thinking about the infinite makes the mind vast.. and this makes the mind relax.

i dont know what it is.. but its all fun!

This is my first blog. Hello World !. hahaa.

I like the name of this blog.. I called it Padmapadam..

Padmapada .. i just love that name..

Padmapada was a disciple of Sri AdiShankara..

Once when Sri Acharya was at Kasi ( I think) he called out to his disciple who was on the other side of the river Ganges.. the disciple, heeding his master's call just started walking on the water. and where ever he stepped on the surface of water a lotus or padma bloomed to support him.. and thus he was able to cross..

and his name became PadmaPada..

I think there is a deeper meaning in it.. u can just walk across any water when you have that love and the trust.